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Email Jokes Archive 1

www.minnelli.com

Email Joke Archive #1

FORD vs. Adam 

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, the guy tells Ford, ‘Well, you’ve been such a good gut and your invention the car changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven.’

So Henry Ford thinks about it and says: ‘I want to hang out with Adam, the first man.’—So the guy at the gates points Adam out to Ford.

When Ford gets to Adam, Ford asks ‘Hey aren’t you the inventor of woman?’

Adam says: ‘Yes.’

‘Well,’ says Ford, ‘You have some major design flaws in your invention :

1) There is too much front end protusion
2) It chatters at high speeds
3) The rear end wobbles too much
4) and the intake is too close to the exhaust.’

‘Hmmmmm..’ says Adam, ‘hold on’. So Adam goes to the celestial computer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. The computer prints out a slip of paper and Adam reads it. He then says to Ford, ‘It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to the stellar computer, more men are riding my invention than yours.’

Rodeo Style 

Two guys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions.

The first guy says his favorite position is the "rodeo." The other guy asks what the position is, and how to do it.

The first guy says, "You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get under way and she’s really enjoying it, lean forward and whisper in her ear, "Your sister likes this position, too."

Then try to hang on for 8 seconds.

Drunks 

Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"

The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".

Red Neck 

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a poll-ice roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" "Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."

"What fer?", asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?", said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead.

When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir," said Earl. "We're on the patch!"

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

Copyright 2004 J. Kevin Minnelli. All rights reserved.
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