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Bashing Women Jokes

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Bashing Women
 
  • Why did God give men penises?
  • So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
  • How is a woman like a laxative?
  • They both irritate the shit out of you.
  • What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
  • A woman that won't do what she's told.
  • What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?
  • Marriage.
  • Why are hangovers better than women?
  • Hangovers will go away.
  • What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
  • Its Braille for "suck here".
  • Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds?
  • Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
  • What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
  • Her navel.
  • Why do men die before their wives?
  • They want to.
  • Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
  • He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
  • What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
  • Lipstick.
  • What's a wife?
  • An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.
  • Why do women have tits?
  • So men will talk to them.
  • Why do women close their eyes during sex?
  • They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
  • What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
  • Money.
  • What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
  • You can unscrew a light bulb.
  • Why do women have periods?
  • They deserve them.
  • Why did God make man first?
  • He didn't want a woman looking over his shoulder.
  • If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?
  • Made her chain too long.
  • Why was the woman crossing the road?
  • Who cares! What's she doing out of the kitchen?
  • How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
  • None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
  • What's the difference between your wife and your job?
  • After 5 years your job will still suck.
  • Why can't you trust woman?
  • How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

Copyright 2004 J. Kevin Minnelli. All rights reserved.
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